Dances with DS

My daughter has been feeling rotten. She has developed several infections  but the worst is a very infected ingrown toenail.  She feels stressed & low at the moment. She is off to Peru & Brazil for 6 weeks soon & is anxious about how she’ll cope with all the walking. Saw her GP who prescribed antibiotics & said she felt it was all due to her wisdom teeth breaking through and the infected gums there. Makes sense really.

But she needs more than just antibiotics. Aside from ordering more Udo’s chewables to balance her mouth bacteria plus her body while she is on antiobotics - it’s definately TLC time!

Last night I made her a healing anti stress bath salt with Copaiba oil (my fav at he mo for healing skin issues & the smell is gorgeous too!), a natural rose fragrance made from components of  essential oils for calming the emotions  & beautiful restoring frankincense, epsom salts, dead sea salt, glycerin (it moisturizes beautifully). I put rose petals into it for added pizzaz - it looked so pretty!

Then I transformed my pint sized bathroom into spa-land with fluffy new towels, sea sponges, candles, fresh flowers, an oil burner to scent the room with the same scents as the bath salts and a glass of herbal tea-juice in a champagne glass just for the final touch.

She came home exhausted  & while she was eating dinner I was doing the finishing touches in the bathroom  upstairs.  I lit the candles ran a deep hot bath & surprised her.  She was so over the moon.

I had to smile as she was up there soaking for well over two hours!!!

I thought how little it takes really to be attentive to our loved ones and to do something special just for them.   This is the stuff that makes Life a deep celebration for me. That at last I can do these things. This is the greatest gift my surgery has given me.

When I was severely obese I am still upset to say that life curdled in me. It was life with a small ‘l’. Actually it was more str-ife, with no small ‘l’ even.  I almost want to cry even now thinking about it.  It was enough to walk a few paces or to even lift my bulk out bed. Everything was EFFORT. Physical effort. Everything was me thinking about how I could do the simplest things without becoming finished with exhaustion. I won’t carp on about it but with this, I was extremely depressed. I was often thinking about how I could best end the whole misery of it.

Not all severely obese people are like this. Infact I know of some that are to my mind sheer grace & light. They gather up all those in need around them & transform others lives with kindness and compassion. They don’t let the obesity diminish them or their lives in any way.  But alas I was not one of them.

I was self obsessed but in a ‘need to survive’ kind of way. I had no energy for very much when it came to doing things for others. I did the basics - cooked and cleaned. That was about it. My family were just the best - they never complained. They never pushed me or made me feel bad. They did as much as they could to help me.  But even now I feel as if I was soooo selfish then. That’s maybe the hardest part to still swallow all these years later.

We often talk about ‘taking back my life’ in context with WLS.  It is one helluva thing for WLS to give one one’s life back, make no error.  To explore the amazing dynamics of fully functioning limbs, clothes that fit like magic, life bursting energy that allows us to persue our dreams and careers.  It is wonderful - very very wonderful.

For two years post op I jumped head on into life again….but it was still in many ways all about me. My family delighted in it all with me. If I close my eyes I still see Pete’s face & how it lit up with such joy - the day I ran up a massive flight of stairs and waved to him triumphantly, yelling down to him that I was not even a little out of breath!

I stopped visiting WLS forums a little time ago, just for a short while,  because I just got a bit tired of the ‘me-ness’ of it all.  My own ‘me-ness’ especially and to a much smaller degree the ‘me-ness’ of others. But before  you twack me on the side of my head - let me say that I totally understand it. I’m not judging - it’s just an observation & mostly of myself.  I was 100% ‘me-ness & DS’ for two years solid and I still have very full on ‘me-ness’ times…particularly when I get some issues due to my surgery. Besides my life is intricately interwoven with my surgery.  I’m very identified with my DS - as you can see by the vast blogging that I do on the subject!

It is natural - actually it is healthy too, it’s how we find support to move through the changes, to adjust to what cannot be changed, to survive the trauma of side effects, to solve our issues. And of course that is exactly why support groups exist. There is real evidence that WLS who are supported do better longerterm.  I think they are fantastic places and all WLS patients should belong to one or more.

However it’s easy in the heady rush or perhaps the less fun adjustments that WLS causes, to forget that to experience the greatest joy is to be able to begin afresh with ones family or loved ones.  It takes little really to think about how we can put a smile on the face of others & then implement a plan of action.

I have a dear friend, Bev.  We stayed with her in Switzerland for a night some time ago ( I think I blogged it!)   But to recap - when we opened the door to our room she had decorated the room with lot’s of photo’s of Pete & myself that she’d taken over the years. It was so thoughtful, so wonderful. To think someone would go to so much trouble for us! And the room was beautifully decorated with all the luxuries - chocolates on the pillows (yum!), a basket full of shampoo & cosmetic samples, fluffy bath robes and slippers.  I shall never forget it. We both felt so moved and cared about and we had the most wonderful stay with her.

Before I had my Duodenal Switch I made a (very long) list of everything I wanted to do.  I have fulfilled every dream & wish I had on that list. YAY!!!!

This year I have made another very list - it’s really different - it’s of everything I want to do for others.

I don’t get where the time goes!   I am still catching up with e-mails - long overdue replies which I feel really bad about, domestic matters and basically myself!

I got over my flu quite quickly but then found I had the driest skin ever.  I wrote an entire long and self obsessed post about it which I have scrapped due to embarresment!

Long and short of it - nothing was moisturising my skin effectively.  It soaked up my homemade creams & balms and butters and 2 hours later was feeling tight again. This despite plenty of internal fatty acids and the like.

I have had to face my disgustingly low water intake,  which has been a mission!

It never ceases to amaze me how adaptive I am. I think that since I got back to the UK I have lived with a subliminal dehydration. Not enough to prompt desperate thirst, but enough to wreak fair havoc on my skin as a warning.

I drank a lot of water in Africa as the weather was hot, but once I got back to chilly climes this stopped.  On the very day I arrived!

So for over a week I have been drinking plenty extra (with great difficulty & much forcing ) and my skin is back to it’s normal happy self.

Made me realise in a very real way just how important water intake is.  Thing with me is I always have to actually experience a crisis to take action. Unfortunately.

Intellectual knowing is kind of vague - like something out there. But the dry skin from hell that itches and feels taught, has been a real motivator for action. I have had to revisit the old wisdom that what is put into the body is vitally important and that unless ‘inside’ issues are addressed, one can do what one wants by applying creams etc. They might help but they can’t be optimal.

I’m looking into ordering some of this to help with keeping myself well hydrated:

(This link will open in a new window).

http://www.eletewater.co.uk/index.php

I do take something similar - but have only used it for leg cramps before and it is nearly finished. Now I am thinking of using something like this a little more frequently. I read the research pages on the site & found it very interesting.

That aside I am still playing about with diy cosmetics making.  Someone asked me the other day why I do this. It was hard to answer.

My reasons are multiple.  Firstly it horrifies me to see the abundant chemicals used  in commercial manufacturing. I had developed several allergic type reactions to most commercial products - nothing severe - but most things stressed my skin & hair rather than helping it.  I often felt itchy after applying face creams for example.

I’m not a full blown organic girl … not every chemical is a disaster - some are quite safe and work to make a product optimal - but I wanted to understand all this better.  Making my own stuff has put me on a broad learning curve where I decide what I put on my body.

I have seen some pretty amazing things happen using only natural oils and infusions. My dog regrew all his hair (blogged about this before)…my mum was able to resolve her rosacea, my sons girlfriend had severe ringworm that a prescribed cream was not doing anything for (it was getting worse) & after 4 days of using appropriate essential oils in a salve it has cleared up by 99% already.  I don’t want to sound like I’m a green hippy in jesus sandals (…maybe I am! :-?  ) But one has to see these things to believe them really. And I have.

Once one does, it engenders a strong respect for the healing abilities of carefully researched and formulated oils & herbs.

Also,  I need more than most mainstream cosmetics give me.  I malabsorb and as my DS years have passed so my skin needs extra nourishment.  I am my own best guinea pig.

Aside from the recent dehydration which I had neatly overlooked as a major cause of my dry skin, overall my hair & skin have dramatically improved since I embarked on this.  I’ve never had a truly great skin - it is scarred with old acne pits and is sensitive. So I am not seeking a miracle cure - just an improvement…and so far so good!

Since sorting out my fluid intake I’m moving forward again on the skin front and today I made a gentle face mask to slough away the last traces of dry skin build up. I didn’t want to use anything strong like clays as my skin has just come right. So I chose almonds & oats instead. The oats has beta glucans in it which soothe the skin even as it’s being exfoliated.

I was pleased to see my skin resuming a nice glow again. I just used kitchen ingredients to cobble it together but it had a lovely clarifying yet softening effect.

And on our hapless postie it also had a ’surprise effect’! 

Typical that I get a delivery just when I am looking my very best! Nothing as glam as standing at the door with oats paste sliding off ones cheekbone!  lol.

Here’s my recipe:

Clarifying Face Mask Remedy:

Couple of slices of cucumber washed with skin on

(If no cucu available, I think a peeled apple would work as well!)

A handful of raw peeled almonds

Teaspoon of yogurt

Blitz the above in a blender

Then add oats cereal to make it tacky but spreadable

Add 1 teaspoon of honey. Manuka if you have it.

I added 1/2 teaspoon of coconut oil as my skin still needs oils - but omit this if your skin

is oily by nature. ( If you have no coconut - virgin olive oil is fine.)

Leave on the face for about 15 mins

Use a bit of water and rub it around a bit to exfoliate gently. Rinse off.

Viola! Much better skin!

This will keep in the fridge for another day or two…or you could try freezing any excess. Not sure if this would work but might be worth a try.  Don’t use it after 48 hours as nothing is worse than smearing bug infested matter on ones skin!

So this is yet another reason. I adapt my cosmetics to my & my families needs.

And more than that -  well it is just good fun cooking up something different in the kitchen!